Japanese Love Life

No marriage, no children, and no sex.

What happened to the Japanese?

In asexual Japan, almost half of the young men and women live virginally. Some Japanese put the blame on the long working days as well as on the government. This is not good news for the next generation, given that the Japanese population is aging the fastest in the world.

“The government has to do more.” This is what Aoyama, a former Japanese dominatrix, now offers as a sex and relationship consultant.

45% of Japanese women between 16 and 24 are not interested in sexual contacts. About a quarter of all men behave likewise. These numbers were reported in an article by The Guardian on October 20, 2013. It goes on and on: 61% of all unmarried men and 49% of women between 18 and 34 have never had a romantic relationship. This represents an increase of nearly 10% in the last 5 years.

Japan interkulturelles Training intermedio.ch

Japan interkulturelle Training – intermedia.ch

Marriage has become an unattractive minefield in Japan: Japanese men have been less career-driven and less solvent since their lifelong job no longer exists. Japanese women have become more independent and ambitious. Yet conservative attitudes persist at home and at work. The Japanese companies make it almost impossible for women to combine career and family. Children are unaffordable (Japan Times).

Tomita sometimes has one-night stands with men she meets in bars. She says sex is not a priority for me. “I’m often asked by married men in the office who want to have an affair with me. They assume I’m desperate because I’m single. ” Then she grimaces and shrugs.”

Japan Kind interkulturelle Beratung intermedio © intermedio

Japanese Children – Not enough for Japan’s future © intermedio

“That’s too annoying,” says Kishino, when asked why he’s not interested in a girlfriend. “I do not earn a huge salary, and I do not want dates because the women might think I was interested in marrying.” Japan’s media call men like Kishino “soshoku danshi” (literally “grass-eating men”). The terms follow an analogy from the animal kingdom in which herbivores are generally considered passive.

Is Aoyama right and should the government use a family and child-supportive policy? Probably yes. Nowhere else in the world does society age as fast as in Japan. Here, however, the topics of sex and family are closely linked. Does celibacy automatically mean childlessness or a life without sex? “In Japan, the clocks actually tick differently than in Europe. Here the departure from marriage means that these people do not have children either. Cohabiting couples are very rare “. That says an article of the Frankfurter Allgemeine from 29.11.2011.

asexuelles Japan interkulturelle Beratung intermedio

asexuelles Japan Porno-Mangas in public transportation

Even in Japanese married couples, it would be remarkably joyless. A study by the Japanese Ministry of Health revealed earlier this year that 40.8 percent of all surveyed couples said they had no sex last month. Men said they were just too tired after the long working day.

Nevertheless – or for that very reason – there are dating sites such as JapanCupid.com, which are successful according to their own advertising. However, this platform addresses the international clientele in 14 different foreign languages. “JapanCupid connects thousands of Japanese singles with their dream partners from all over the world, […] whether you’re looking for a date or the love of their lives”, says their website.

The passengers in the subways of Tokyo, Osaka or Yokohama show another, for European conditions strange picture. Many men in their prime are uninhibitedly leafing through pornographic comics. Interestingly, the protagonists of such comics have a European appearance. Is it a cheaper way to live out their sexual fantasies compared to real love relationships?

1 reply
  1. Yvo Wüest
    Yvo Wüest says:

    That’s an interesting topic. The Guardian war running another story about the very Japanese phenomena “Love hotels”.

    A love hotel is a type of short-stay hotel, found not only in Japan, but around the world and operated primarily for the purpose of allowing guests privacy for sexual activities. Nevertheless, the name originates from “Hotel Love” in Osaka, which was built in 1968.

    The article says “at Christmas Eve, millions of love-struck, or simply lustful, couples will discreetly observe another festive tradition with a visit to such a love hotel.”

    “The love hotel business is going through a difficult time,” said Shigemi Sudo, director of the Tokyo Hotel and Ryokan (Inn) Association. “This is probably because more young people live away from their family home these days, so there’s no need for them to go to a love hotel.”

    Helped by government subsidies, more love hotels are renovating their facilities to appeal to overseas visitors who may not want a room with a revolving bed and fluffy handcuffs.

    Here’s the full article: https://bit.ly/2Pts6GJ


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